When Do We Become Parents?
We all know when a baby is born, but when do we become parents?
Most people remember, relive, and sometimes share their children's birth in great detail. It's a big moment. For everyone involved it shifts the axis of your world forever, even if it takes awhile to set in. Experiences differ, but everyone is affected.
With Bubs turning one soon (Where does the time go?!), we have been doing a lot of reflecting. We are planning a little get together to share what feels like a major milestone for us in his completion of being on this planet for one full turn around the sun. My Mom is even planning a trip from the States to join us! (Who can blame her?) So while we will have a casual BBQ, I also plan to dust off the champagne flutes for a toast. Because to me, this feels like just as much of a celebration for Miko and me as it does for Bubs. Our Little Bee has obviously accomplished a lot in his year of life, as babies do, but so have we.
Which got me thinking about when do we become parents?
One of my best friends passed along a little gem that her midwife shared with her, "It's not just the baby who is born, but the parents as well." That feels right to me (hence the champagne flutes and toast to us, ha) but I am not sure I felt like a parent the moment he was born.
There was a lot of preparation for the birth, of course. I heard the stories of caring for infants and surrendered to the fact I had no idea what I was getting into. Certainly I knew I was to care for this new little person, but I think the role of parent was something that I grew into over this past year. In the beginning I almost felt like an imposter and would say to Miko, "Can you believe it? We made a whole little person who didn't exist before and now there he is! Just hanging out on the floor." My mind was completely blown.
Eventually I felt like a parent, but I am not sure exactly when. It kind of snuck up on me. No more feeling like an imposter, I am officially a parent. I suppose it was a bit like that for Bubs too. It took time for him to fully arrive on the planet and as time has passed he has become more and more conscious and confident in his newly budding abilities. It truly is a journey we go on together and I think those shared experiences are what bond us together and make a family.
Brick by brick, day by day, moment by moment, breath after breath, we become. Parenting, for me, is a continual becoming.
So here's to all of the parents out there and to your job well done. We salute you and may your life be ever full of more ease, beauty, and continual becoming. We are so glad we can be on this journey with you.