Musing from an accidental entrepreneur, mama and once upon a time yogini.
Ah, we know love is in the air when love hearts, Cupid bows and all things pink and red abound. Reminding us of our relationship status and when we inevitably discuss our feelings around Valentine’s Day with co-workers and friends.
It’s nice to be thought of but I generally shy away from any action done under duress or obligation. I am more of the meaning comes from the feeling kind of gal instead of ticking a box with a last minute card and flowers.
But since my son was born, Valentine’s Day has taken on a sweetness I never knew. He was born on the 13th so that year we flowed into Valentine’s Day on the high of oxytocin and the unconditional love a parent has for a child.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about unconditional love. At times it’s made my heart and head feel quite jumbled. But that often happens on our path to discovery and deeper understanding. Things have to loosen and some even fall away so the light can come in and new understanding can form. When the feelings of uncertainly, pain or discomfort show up we tend to want out of them as quickly as possible and desperately cleave to the known. It feels safer that way, to avoid those messy, hard feelings (Some even confuse the messy and hard feelings as the end point). Most of us have been trained to look at the external to know the ‘right’ and the ‘wrong’ of things. We want to anchor ourselves as quickly as possible because the unknown can feel really scary.
It takes a lot of practice to do something else. To stay in the uncertainty and with the painful feelings. I have been at it for decades and when pain arrives I often have the same instincts we all do. But if I take some breaths and stay with it inevitably the magic arrives. Eventually I find myself sifting through the emotion, going past my desperate clinging mind, and sinking into myself. That real self we often ignore or cannot hear. Finding the centre of myself helps me find the centre to everything else. Even if I cannot see the whole picture I find the next right step.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s what unconditional love is. That centre point in yourself and knowing voice. Because when I act from that place I know everyone around me benefits - no matter if it’s initially a painful experience. I think that’s the kind of self sacrifice that is true unconditional love. Leaving our wants, likes and dislikes, right and wrong, what we think makes us a good or bad person behind and acting from that space of divinity and knowing. Sometimes we have to step off the ledge and into the darkness and trust because that’s all we can do.
So no matter if you celebrate Valentine’s Day conventionally, unconventionally or not at all I wish for you to keep finding and listening to your inner knowing. Acting from this place can be nothing but love and we all benefit. It’s the most selfless thing we can do. It may feel like small steps but this is how we truly change the world.